Thursday, August 18, 2005

Ch-ch-ch-changes (Turn and face the strange)

If you haven't visited the actual blog page in a while, now might be a good time just for a visual. With the final proofs having changed hands prior to being transmitted to the printer, and with only a month still away from the conference, it seemed a good time for a face-lift on the site. I chose something that looked like it had some green life in it instead of the darkness that was there since the beginning. Maybe something's dawning after all.

Century PDF version 3 has been proofed, and only a handful of changes could be found this time. I'll share them here, though they'll make sense only in retrospect to most of you:

Page 16: In third graf, "It was Sunday, April 1," need to be sure there’s a space between April and 1

Page 105: seventh line from the bottom: "everybody?" should be left-justified, not indented.

Page 143: fourth line from bottom: "committal.):" should remove period before the parentheses.

Page 150: change "those that did nothing" to "those who did nothing."

Page 165: change web address to www.tonysimmons.info

...And that's that. From Bette's long list of questions and concerns and offerings and suggestions way back when in 2004, to three different PDF versions of the manuscript this year, plus a transitional version that I worked on with format-maestro Adam at Michael's place, now finally we're getting to the waiting weeks.

We've watched the ripples change their size but never leave the stream of warm impermanence.

The cover is almost done, the manuscript is done, the waiting is almost over. But the pain begins. The worst part is wondering how folks will respond.

I've had this conversation with a couple of people: Century, the book, is not simple. It isn't easy. It doesn't offer answers or paint rosy pictures. It's funny in places and sad in others. It's scary sometimes, disturbing sometimes. It's fantastic (as in "filled with fantasy") and realistic in various measures. Some will love it (and I've had readers who owe me no kindness tell me they do). Some will hate it (no one has said so yet, but a couple of agents and editors have "regretted to inform" me blah-blah-blah -- and I know the hate is coming).

As a writer (an artist?) I try to make people laugh by finding things that make me laugh, or make people cry by finding things that make me sad, or disturb people by finding things that disturb me, and then writing about them. No, that's not quite accurate. Sometimes, I just start telling stories and the stories lead me places that make me laugh or make me cry or make me uncomfortable, and then I have to be brave enough or stupid enough to tell the story anyway. I ask, Is that right? Is that how it happened? And sometimes it is right, and sometimes, I find out later that the characters lied and it really happened another way, because the story tells itself better and makes more sense another way. Balances better, or goes full-tilt off balance better, whichever feels right. So I go back and rewrite to make the stories work out another way.

Right now, I'm feeling off-balance about the whole thing, I guess. The story is told. I've re-read it a million times, and yes, River, I know you say there's something missing. Bette says it ends like you're "falling off the world," which she describes as a "wonderful" sensation. I happen to think you're both right. There is something missing. You are falling off the world. After the book is out and all the love and hate is flowing, I'll talk to you here about what I think is missing and why. There's a reason, you know. I didn't just make that stuff up by mistake as I went along.

Well, actually, most of it I did.
The secret to writing is rewriting. The secret to rewriting is never admitting it -- pretending you meant to do it that way all along.

I never have been good at keeping secrets.

Peace.

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